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ResumeRoast

The feedback your friends were too nice to give.

Your resume isn't what an employer reads.

Before a person sees your layout, their software flattens it into a database row โ€” and that row is what gets searched. Here's one, built from a resume that looks completely normal as a PDF:

What you designed The page it came from
PRIYA RAMASWAMY
                                        priya.r@protonmail.com
SKILLS                                  EXPERIENCE
JavaScript                              Frontend Engineer   2020 - 2024
React                                   Nimbus Health
TypeScript                              โ€ข Shipped a scheduling UI used by 40k patients
AWS                                     โ€ข Cut bundle size 61% by code-splitting routes
Node.js                                 โ€ข Owned the design system rollout

EDUCATION                               Junior Developer    2018 - 2020
BS Computer Science                     Fathom Labs
Rutgers University                      โ€ข Built internal tools in React
โ†’
What their system stored
Name
PRIYA RAMASWAMY
Email
priya.r@protonmail.com
Phone
โ€” empty โ€”
Location
โ€” empty โ€”
Work history (0 rows)
โ€” no jobs recorded โ€”

Two jobs are plainly on that page. The parser recorded none of them, because the layout is two-column โ€” "EXPERIENCE" came out welded onto the skills heading beside it, so there was no section for a parser to anchor on, and her phone and location came out empty. She looks perfect as a PDF and does not appear in a search for three years' experience. Example resume, real parser โ€” this page runs the same code your upload does.

Someone shared their roast with you.
This page was opened straight from a file. Nothing will work here โ€” the page can't reach the server from a file:// address. Open roast.cactusco.org instead.
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Click to upload or drag & drop

PDF, DOCX, DOC, RTF, TXT, or Pages โ€” up to 20MB

Paste the posting and the feedback changes completely: which requirements you never answered, where a keyword screener drops you, and whether this earns a phone screen for that role.

That's a job title, not a posting. Paste the actual description โ€” requirements and responsibilities โ€” or leave this blank. As is, it'll be ignored.

Analyzing your resume...

? / 10
Top Priority Fix
The Roast ๐Ÿ”ฅ
What You Did Right โœ“
    Now Fix It

    Want the cleaned-up version? I'll rebuild it into a properly organized document you can download and edit โ€” same jobs, same dates, same you, just written the way it should have been. Modern or Harvard formatting, your pick.